Sitting here trying to put words to something that is still in the feeling stage is THE hardest thing in life. Translating an intuitive process is like trying to describe what the story, "The Little Prince" is about - life. It's about life. And in this story, there is change and letting go. Chief, our 4 year old stallion, left the herd earlier this week and as I write this should now be in the competent hands of his new person, Phil Oakes from OBar Ranch. Saying goodbye to Chief didn't actually feel that difficult as my daughter Sage and I shared some quiet evening moments with him. What was even more "interesting" in a wow, I can't believe it kind of way, was the road that I had to travel on to deliver him to his US departure destination. My drive was shared with my new puppy in the same way that I used to haul horses, before having kids - just me and my dog, the horses, the truck and trailer. It was really all I ever wanted to do when I grew up. It meant that I was going somewhere.
This road took me backwards in time... as we headed north, we passed the farm of an old boyfriend that I was sure I would one day marry. We crossed the landscapes that morphed from southern Alberta windswept prairie into rolling clusters of aspen marshland with old falling down farmsteads still holding out. Since I wan't in a rush to reach my destination, I found myself taking backroads instead of main routes - just because I could. Backroads that allowed me to see perspectives and timelines I can't always see in my everyday life.
With each mile can another realization of where I am in my life - that Chief, who is the product of a Morgan horse breeding program that I started with my dad in 1991 because of a dream, found his home with a great hand, a man who was beyond excited to get him and had been searching for a horse like him for many years. If I could have told my 12 year old self that by following this horse dream, this thread that you can't describe but you can feel, it will take you far beyond any reason you even think you are doing this for, and so much more... pursue that thread; it is an inevitable part of who you are.
As more and more trees filled the landscape I began to tune in to something that was, in a small but terrifying way, haunting me. Prior to writing this post I had no idea how this was related to letting Chief go, but I feel that in sharing this, it might help make sense of many things for many of us...
Reading on Facebook about a 17' long female python snake that was caught in Florida and the story of how these snakes are becoming a problem because they taking over the Glades, this kept creeping into my thoughts. Finally deciding that I needed to understand why this was happening, I tuned into this snake and asked what this was all about. Not ever having tuned into the snake collective before, I had no idea what to expect... but I will do my best to share what I received. Admittedly, it felt a little "creepy" at first, but as soon as we began a dialogue, the whole field opened up. She offered me the word reciprocity and the idea that there is an imbalance in the giving and taking - she said, it is time for the rising of the serpent. I asked what she meant by that and she said to stop disowning ourselves by giving away our power. We are so terrified of our power that we fear it and we are manifesting it into the world in a way that is annihilating all life in its path.
**If you aren't familiar with what the rising of the serpent means - serpents and snakes represent creative life force (also known as kundalini energy).
Snakes shed their skin symbolizing rebirth, transformation, immortality, and healing.
Everything on earth is about balance and cycles and nature itself shows us where we are out of balance in the cycle. What I find fascinating is that, like my story with hauling Chief, I was doing the same thing all over again, the same cycle, but from a different perspective. A new cycle of travelling over the land with my animals, but with greater awareness in what needs to be consciously let go of in order to attain a balance of power (in my own herd, and also in the snake population, and the world at large).
Writing this itself has taken much letting go in order to find balance within my own power... but not sharing this message was, in some ways, eating me alive. My internal struggle to let this message go out into the world, also comes with a sigh of relief. That, just like Chief, this message of letting go and the time of the rising of the serpent will move into the hands of those who need it most, in order to bring balance to a dream that began long ago.